Corporate Hustler to Free Spirit
I've had many titles over the years. Daughter, Sister, Friend, Student, Retail Associate, Executive Assistant, Events Manager, Senior Associate, and Vice President. Funny thing about titles in the working world, none of them quite felt right. It was always a struggle to explain exactly what I did - as if it was the sum of everything I am or what I did.
We get so attached to titles and labels and for what? When did we start believing that who we are is determined by our business card?
I had spent my life doing what I thought I was supposed to do. I stayed at the job, worked 50-60 hours a week, only to realize the promotion was not coming nor could I even attempt to work towards it. It wasn't a glass ceiling - it was a steel one. I got another job, became a VP in less than a year, made more money. I bought a condo, in a great location - by myself, paid off my car, had a great credit rating. I worked hard, saved money, was responsible, turned the other cheek, didn't make waves, dressed a certain way, acted how I was expected to in a work environment. I did ALL THE THINGS you are supposed to do. I did everything they told me to do. - I had arrived right? Wrong. I was supposed to be happy right? Wrong.
The drive to work I felt my soul die a little bit each day. It was a groundhog experience, day in and day out. Wake up, go to work, stare at a computer screen 10-12 hours a day, check social media, come home, go to bed - exhausted - not because the work was hard, but because the mental exhaustion was overwhelmingly difficult to navigate. Exercise, yea it would make me feel better, but maybe a nap first, it's just too hard. Is this all there is?
I woke up in pure terror one morning. "This can't be it. Because if it is - I'm done. There is no point." I could not keep going like this. It simply was not sustainable.
To look at me from outside you would think I had it all. I should be grateful. I should be happy. Look at all the shiny objects. Sure, I put on a brave face - but no one knew the despair I felt every night. Deep down, I was a positive person - but I yearned to be happy. I wanted work I loved. I wanted joy. I mean, I'm sober. I meditate EVERY morning, I pray, I visualize, I journal. WTF. This shit is supposed to work, right? In all honesty, meditation saved my life. It was the calm in the chaos. It allowed me the grace to deal with the crazy boss and the noise. It was a safe sacred space for me daily. The peace in the storm of my soul. That peace is available to you too.
Everyday we make a decision. Too often I see people make a decision based on someone else's ideal - societal or familial. I get it. I did it. That was me and I am here to tell you - you don't have the live like that anymore. You CAN break free from ALL OF IT. Anger, guilt, shame, fear, addiction, hate - whatever the flaw, whatever you have held onto from your past that keeps you stuck - you can be free from it. I'm here to help you do just that.
I should not be writing this bio. Hell, I shouldn't even be alive. I should be in jail, or dead. Therefore, it is my responsibility to share my gift, my hope, and what I have learned, to help others do the same. I live a life of freedom that others only dream about. I have peace of mind, a deep sense of serenity - that the world cannot give nor take away. When the world is crazy, I can be calm. I can show compassion where there is cruelty, positivity where there is negativity.
Aren't you tired of dreaming?
Stop existing. Start living.
A practitioner and student of meditation for over 10 years, recovery advocate, and spiritual activist. I'm here to help others see the power that truly lies within themselves.
The official stuff: I bring over 20 years of experience working on large-scale financial conferences and publications, growing non-profit programs and running the creative department a public relations and advertising firm. My range of experiences allows me to work with everyone from the new college graduates to the executive level.